For those of you that don’t know what YOLO means, it means “I’m a white person.”
My Presidential Platform
- Everybody gets a baby otter.
- Sales taxes will be factored into the item’s price. Five dollar price tag? Pay five dollars.
- More things will glow in the dark.
- October 27 will be Teddy Roosevelt Day. It will be celebrated by a Presidential “Bear Pardon”, a symbol of our shared respect and commitment to a peaceful coexistence with the animal kingdom.
- Saying that Tyrannosaurus rex had feathers will be a felony.
- Saying that tomatos are actually fruit will also be a felony.
- We’ll build a water park for North Korea. Actually, let’s do that for every nation we don’t usually get along with. I think that will help.
- Cilantro needs to go away.
- There will be more trains, and less trucks.
- Nobody can wear Tapout or Fubu.
- Kanye West will get federal grants for DONDA, as well as for his next album.
- The title “ft.”, standing for “featuring”, will be legally granted to both Rihanna and T-Pain. They’ve already been using it for years.
- Pickles will no longer come as a garnish for any meal unless requested.
- "Breaking Bad" plot twist: Jesse Pinkman gets into the rap game and changes his name to Mac Miller.
- No words will be considered “bad words”.
Sorry, guys. He never said that.
FOX News’s website quit selling hoodies. Is there any reason for this that isn’t hilariously stupid?
The biggest fad of the year seems to be feigned moral outrage. As glad as I am that atrocities are being brought under massive scrutiny by our generation, I’m absolutely thrilled that so many of you found humanitarian reasons to wear bracelets and hoodies. You feel better already, don’t you? That’s all that matters, really. Just be honest and acknowledge that you get off on riding the bandwagon.
life rough but u no thats how benni roll.